
The Wake-up Call
It’s 11:18 pm Sunday night and I just can’t seem to get my thoughts together. I should, as the title of my column states, be discussing “fresh-brewed conservatism.” But for some reason I just can’t.
You’d think this would be easy for me – the loud mouth who writes a letter to the editor every other week or so protesting the ridiculous spending by our elected leaders or their blackmailing of the Lee County citizens into voting for a sales tax increase OR property tax and anything or anyone else who tramples on my individual rights. But not this week! Nope, can’t seem to focus.
You see, I’ve been swamped with a project due for Stat class, a house that desperately needs cleaning, clothes to wash, Christmas cards to write, gifts to buy, etc, etc, etc. Seems like Thanksgiving was just a few days ago. Where has the time gone? Wonder if I can fit a good night’s rest between all the tasks? Keep dreaming!
Whatever! Where’s the coffee? No matter how tired I am, it’s always a good time for a cup of joe. It’s never bothered me to drink coffee late at night. And I just happen to have enough grounds left of Southern Season’s Harvest Blend. Sorry, hubby, I’m going to finish it off tonight.
I’m watching Christmas Shoes. The song tears me up so I can’t imagine what the movie’s going to do. I know you know the story! But I’ll sum it up: a little boy tries to buy a pair of shoes for his dying mommy. Why? He wants her to look beautiful, in case she meets Jesus tonight. Oh my. The tears are falling. Would my kids do that for me?
I know. I’m a Christmas freak. I talk and write about it a lot. But I’m like a kid this time of the year. By August, I’ve probably already bought 3 or 4 gifts. The Christmas music starts in October. And I’m begging my husband for the tree to go up before Thanksgiving. Ha. That one doesn’t come true. Can’t blame him though.
I sit nightly in my Laz-y-boy rocker recliner (it’s the best view) and watch the lights on the Angel at the top of my tree with all other lights off. It’s my time. My time to reflect and thank God for all the blessings in my life. Oh the tears are coming fast. The little boy just told a stranger he didn’t have enough money and he really wanted his mama to have those shoes. Miracles never do cease. The stranger helped.
I said it last week - We get so caught up with the hustle and bustle of the holidays that we forget all too easy what Christmas really means. It’s not the XBOX 360s, Wiis, iPODs, and other stuff. It’s not the shopping at Walmart, Target, Southpoint Mall, or Best Buy. It’s not even dependent on Santa making it through fog, snow, rain or hail. Even though I know he will with Rudolph’s help. It’s something else.
Earlier this week I was traveling back home after dropping off my grandson in North Wilkesboro, when I fell asleep at the wheel and ran off the road. I was on 421 South going about 65 miles per hour. I woke up with my RAV4 beeping loudly and swerved back onto the road and straightened up. As I looked in my rear view mirror, the cars behind me were getting in the next lane. What if a car had been within a car length behind me? Would I still be here? Or would I have met Jesus much sooner than expected?
This incident, dear friends, has given me a wake-up call. You see, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Running a rat race. Working way too many hours (50+ a week for months). Looking and looking for the perfect present for everyone on my list. Trying to be all to everyone. And failing miserably at that, I might add. Cranky (Dean’s nodding his head right about now). And not practicing what I preach – that is, to savor every minute, every second, even every nanosecond of every day. This incident scared me to pieces.
I worry too much about what would happen to my family if something happened to me. Would Dean be ok? Ok, there’s enough life insurance to pay off the house and other stuff. But would he be ok? And what about Kayne, his mommy, and Chad? I can’t imagine not being here watching out for them and doing whatever I can to make their lives better. You know what I’m talking about, right?
My family means everything to me. Start to finish. Notice: I didn’t say government.
I hope I don’t ever forget again that when the work piles up, or a cross word is said between me and Dean because we’re tired or that the laundry isn’t done or the morning coffee isn’t ready, to smile, to slow down, to breathe in the fresh air and know everything’s going to be ok. But I’m human. I will forget. I will get cross. Will my family still forgive? Statistics show (hey I’m learning something) that we hurt the ones closest to us the most.
I promise…the conservatism brewing in me will simmer again and boil over to get out.
But for now, I’m going to kick back (it’s now 1:55 am), have a cup of hot chocolate and watch the Christmas lights on my angel.
All the while, I’ll be thinking of the words my husband wrote in a song titled, The Light, when the kids were little:
Verse #2:
Now I watch the blinking lights
upon my Christmas tree
Telling tales of the birth of Jesus
my children on my knee
Looking at ‘em we’re mesmerized
by the colors dancing there
A million lights
and on the top an angel still appears
It stands apart from the rest
and that’s the way that I should be
A single light shining bright
for all the world to see
Let us strive to be that light
and proclaim it to the world
Fear not for behold
I bring you tidings of great joy.
Goodnight. And please, leave the lights on.
Sheila
(P.S. email me at qgirl232@yahoo.com and I’ll send you the mp3 file!)